The Day I Realized Spiritual Blindness can be Chosen

There are days the Holy Spirit doesn’t just suggest something—He confronts me with it.

I remember sitting with a thought that wouldn’t leave me alone:

“The choices a person makes can bring the person into spiritual blindness.” 

At first, I wanted to keep it neat and theological. I wanted blindness to be only “out there”—in the world, in paganism, in obvious evil. I wanted blindness to be the problem of other people.

But the Lord doesn’t let me preach around the truth. He calls me straight into it.

And He whispered something that felt like a blade of light:

“Some people do not fall into darkness. They walk into it.”

That’s when I began to see the shape of the battle.

Because spiritual blindness is not always a sudden event. Often it’s a slow spiritual drift—one unrepented choice at a time—until the conscience grows dull, the mind grows proud, and the heart starts calling darkness “wisdom.”

When the Flesh Becomes a Hook and the Soul Becomes a Cage

The Word of God is brutally honest about temptation:

“Let no one say when he is tempted, that he is tempted by God… every person is tempted, drawn away, and enticed by his own fleshly nature and evil desire… and sin… brings forth death.” (James 1:13–15) 

I hear that and I realize: I can’t blame God for what my flesh likes. I can’t blame God for the private compromises I’ve protected with excuses.

Sometimes the enemy doesn’t need to push hard—he just needs to offer what my flesh already craves, then wait while I justify it.

And once I justify it, I start building a worldview to protect my sin.

And that’s where blindness grows teeth.

“Suppressing the Truth” Is Not an Accident

The Holy Spirit took me into Romans 1, and it didn’t read like a warning for “those people.” It read like a spiritual autopsy of what happens when a human being keeps resisting light:

People “suppress the truth in unrighteousness… when they knew God, they did not glorify him as God… increased full of vain imaginations… their foolish hearts were blinded… when they counted themselves wise, they became fools.” (Romans 1:18–23) 

That word—suppress—hit me.

Suppress is not passive. Suppress is not ignorance. Suppress is intent.

It means truth is present, conviction is present, warning signs are present… and the person still chooses to press truth down like a spring, forcing it beneath the surface so they can keep doing what they want.

And eventually the spring doesn’t pop back up as easily.

That’s how a conscience gets seared—not by one giant act, but by a thousand smaller refusals to repent.

The Terrifying Line: “Past Repentance”

Then I heard another line from the Word that sobered me:

“Blinded in their understanding… because of the blindness of their hearts; who, being past repentance, have given themselves over…” (Ephesians 4:17–19) 

Past repentance.

There is a place no one stumbles into in a single afternoon. It’s a destination reached by repetition: resist, resist, resist—until resistance becomes identity.

And the frightening thing is that a person can still look “normal,” still talk like they have insight, still appear confident—while being alienated from the life of God.

This is why spiritual blindness is dangerous: it doesn’t always feel like darkness. It can feel like certainty. It can feel like “I’m right.” It can feel like “I’ve evolved.” It can feel like “I know better.”

But pride does not heal blindness. Pride cements it.

Are Abusers Spiritually Blind?

Now I’m going to step into the part of this that makes people uncomfortable—because you asked questions that matter:

• Are abusers spiritually blind?

  
  
  
  

• Are they deceived?

  
  
  
  

• How much is self-deception?

  
  
  
  

• How much is being controlled by others?

  
  
  
  

• Can blindness from original sin be exacerbated by personal choice?

  
  
  
  

Yes—abuse is often the fruit of profound spiritual blindness.

But we have to speak carefully.

Because some abusers are calculating and predatory. Some are driven by lust, dominance, hatred, sadism, entitlement. Some are shaped by trauma and become repeaters of what was done to them. Some are entangled in systems—“pyramids of evildoers,” as you called it—where control, secrecy, blackmail, grooming, and spiritual darkness become a web. 

And here’s the crucial point:

Being influenced is not the same as being innocent.

Scripture doesn’t deny that bondage can be real. But it also doesn’t erase responsibility.

James says the pathway is desire → sin → death. Romans says people suppress truth. Ephesians says some “give themselves over.” Those are verbs. Those are choices. 

So yes—many abusers are deceived.

But the deeper terror is this:

Some abusers are not merely deceived. They have trained themselves to love what God hates.

And the Word calls that darkness.

If You’re a Survivor: Don’t Let Their Blindness Become Your Prison

If you have suffered abuse, you included questions that are holy to ask:

• How does this apply to my abusers?

  
  
  
  

• How does it apply to me?

  
  
  
  

• How does it apply to my loved ones?

  
  
  
  

Let me answer as gently and firmly as I can:

Their choices explain their guilt.

Your healing requires your choices.

Not the choice of what happened—never that.

But the choices afterward:

Will I bring what happened into the light?

Will I break agreement with shame?

Will I stop confusing trauma responses with my identity?

Will I allow the Lord to separate His voice from a malfunctioning conscience? 

Because trauma can distort perception. Abuse can fracture internal “compass” systems. And when bystanders respond with disbelief or judgment, it can open doors for torment to attach itself to the pain. 

But I hear the Spirit saying:

“You will not be punished for what you did not choose.

But you must be healed from what you did not deserve.”

And healing is warfare.

The Veil: When People Fear the Glory That Could Heal Them

The Lord brought me to Sinai.

The people trembled. Thunder. Fire. Smoke. The voice of God. And they begged:

“You speak with us… but let not God speak with us, lest we die.” (Exodus 20:18–21) 

Then Moses came down with a face shining—so radiant that the people were afraid to come near. (Exodus 34:30) 

And Moses wore a veil.

Paul later interprets this and says something staggering: that the veil became a picture of how hearts can be covered when people read truth but won’t turn to the Lord. And that in Christ, the veil is removed. 

I’ve lived long enough to recognize the veil in modern forms:

• A veil of intellectualism that keeps the heart untouched.

  
  
  
  

• A veil of religion that knows verses but avoids surrender.

  
  
  
  

• A veil of trauma that says, “God is unsafe.”

  
  
  
  

• A veil of pride that says, “I’m fine.”

  
  
  
  

• A veil of secret sin that says, “Don’t look there.”

  
  
  
  

And the Spirit says:

“The veil is not removed by information.

The veil is removed by turning.” 

Turning is not a vibe. It’s repentance. It’s surrender. It’s saying, “Jesus, I will not protect what is killing me.”

Even Disciples Can Be Blind (So Don’t Pretend You’re Not)

One of the most sobering comforts in Scripture is that even the disciples had blindness:

“They did not remember about the loaves, because their hearts were blinded.” (Mark 6:52) 

“Do you not yet perceive… Are your hearts still blinded?” (Mark 8:17) 

This rescues me from spiritual pride.

Because if I pretend I can’t be blind, I become blind faster.

So I pray differently now.

I don’t just pray, “Lord, show me what’s wrong out there.”

I pray, “Lord, show me where I have gotten used to dim light.”

Because blindness can hide inside a believer as:

• Unforgiveness I call “discernment.”

  
  
  
  

• Cynicism I call “wisdom.”

  
  
  
  

• Control I call “leadership.”

  
  
  
  

• Self-protection I call “boundaries.”

  
  
  
  

• Self-pity I call “processing.”

  
  
  
  

• Compromise I call “grace.”

  
  
  
  

And the Spirit says:

“I don’t expose you to shame you.

I expose you to heal you.”

Hatred, Righteousness, and the Difference Between Darkness and Discernment

You included a tension that must be handled rightly.

John says:

“He who hates his brother is in darkness… because the darkness has blinded his eyes.” (1 John 2:11) 

But you also included Scripture that calls us to hate evil:

“The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil.” (Proverbs 8:13) 

“Oh ye that love the Lord, see that ye hate the thing which is evil.” (Psalm 97:10a) 

Psalm 139:19–24 wrestles honestly with hatred toward the wicked while inviting God to search the heart. 

So here’s the difference I hear the Spirit emphasizing:

Righteous hatred is aimed at evil and stays submitted to God.

Sinful hatred is aimed at people and becomes a throne for self.

Righteous hatred says: “God, I hate what destroys.”

Sinful hatred says: “I want to become judge, jury, and executioner.”

Righteous hatred can coexist with prayer for justice and repentance.

Sinful hatred makes repentance impossible—because it feeds on contempt.

And the test is Psalm 139:

“Try me, O God… see if there be any way of wickedness in me.” 

If my “discernment” cannot handle God examining it, it may not be discernment.

Trauma, Doorways, and the Battle for the Mind

You spoke about how trauma—especially childhood sexual abuse—can make a person vulnerable to deception and demonic havoc, and how bystander responses can deepen that wound. 

That’s true.

Not because the victim is guilty.

But because the wound becomes an entry point for lies:

• “It was your fault.”

  
  
  
  

• “You are dirty.”

  
  
  
  

• “You are alone.”

  
  
  
  

• “God didn’t protect you.”

  
  
  
  

• “You can’t trust anyone.”

  
  
  
  

• “You will never be whole.”

  
  
  
  

And then some people try to numb the pain through choices that open even bigger doors—occult practices, sexual immorality, compulsions, addictions, or simply letting ambition, envy, rivalry, and bitterness become “normal.” 

Galatians doesn’t only list the obvious sins—it lists the socially acceptable ones too:

“Hatred… dissension… ambition… rivalry… envy… gluttony…” (Galatians 5:19–21) 

And I hear the Spirit say:

“Some demons hide behind respectable sins.”

So the Lord calls me into sober self-examination—but not the kind that becomes self-condemnation.

Because you said something crucial:

Self-examination is healthy when it leads to repentance and resistance.

But it becomes unhealthy when the devil hijacks it and turns it into a treadmill of accusation. 

Yes.

Conviction leads to Christ.

Condemnation leads to despair.

The Way Out: Submission, Resistance, and Surrendered “Members”

The Word gives a clear pathway:

“Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7) 

And Paul says to present our “members”—our limbs, mind, eyes, ears—as servants of righteousness. 

That’s where the fight becomes practical.

Because I don’t break blindness by agreeing with truth once.

I break blindness by living submitted.

By turning again.

By renewing again.

By choosing light again.

And I keep coming back to this:

“When they turn to the Lord, the veil shall be taken away… where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty… and we are changed… from glory to glory.” (2 Corinthians 3:12–18) 

Not from effort to effort.

Not from shame to shame.

From glory to glory.

That’s the mark of the Spirit’s work: transformation that is real, steady, and deep.

A Prophetic Call: Come Out of the Agreement With Darkness

And now I want to speak prophetically, as a first-person cry:

Lord, I repent for every way I have suppressed truth to protect comfort.

I repent for every moment I called compromise “wisdom.”

I repent for the veil—every spiritual covering I clung to because Your light felt too exposing.

I repent for the pride that refuses correction.

I repent for the fear that avoids Your voice.

I repent for letting trauma define my identity.

I repent for partnering with shame.

I repent for confusing condemnation with humility.

And I turn to You.

Not to religion.

Not to performance.

Not to self-hatred.

I turn to You, Jesus—because only You remove the veil. Only You restore sight. Only You heal the conscience. Only You cleanse the inner man.

And I hear the Spirit answer:

“I am not here to manage your darkness.

I am here to deliver you into light.”

So I renounce every agreement with blindness.

I renounce the lie that says, “This is just who I am.”

I renounce the lie that says, “You can’t change.”

I renounce the lie that says, “Truth is dangerous.”

I renounce the lie that says, “God is harsh.”

I renounce the lie that says, “If you turn fully to God, you’ll lose yourself.”

Because the truth is: the only thing I lose in surrender is the prison. Much love.

Declarations

Speak these out loud—slowly, like you’re driving a stake into the ground:

1. In the name of Jesus, I will not suppress the truth—I will submit to it.

   
   
   
   

2. I declare that God is not the author of my temptation; He is the Author of my deliverance.

   
   
   
   

3. I renounce self-deception and I receive the love of truth.

   
   
   
   

4. I declare that the veil is coming off my heart as I turn to the Lord Jesus Christ.

   
   
   
   

5. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty—and I receive liberty today.

   
   
   
   

6. I declare that my conscience will be healed and calibrated by the Word of God and the Spirit of God.

   
   
   
   

7. I reject condemnation; I receive conviction that leads me to life.

   
   
   
   

8. I declare that trauma will not define me; Jesus defines me.

   
   
   
   

9. I declare that I can hate evil without becoming evil—I will remain submitted to God.

   
   
   
   

10. I submit myself to God, I resist the devil, and I declare the devil must flee.

    
    
    
    

11. I present my eyes, ears, mind, and body as servants of righteousness.

    
    
    
    

12. I declare I am being changed from glory to glory by the Spirit of the Lord.

    
    
    
    

13. I will not be “past repentance”—I will stay soft, quick to turn, quick to obey.

    
    
    
    

14. I declare that Jesus is shining light into every hidden place, and that light is healing me—not harming me.

    
    
    
    

15. I choose the way everlasting. Search me, O God, and lead me.