Led by the Spirit, Not by Your Wound

Excerpt from my upcoming book “The Wound and the Warrior”

There comes a point in every wounded believer’s journey where one question becomes unavoidable:

Who is leading me right now—my pain, other people’s opinions, or the Holy Spirit?

Maybe you’ve never said that out loud, but you’ve felt it.

You’ve walked through betrayal.

You’ve been misunderstood.

You’ve tried to serve God and somehow ended up bruised in the process.

And if you’re honest, some of the decisions you’ve made since then didn’t come from quiet time in the presence of God. They came from:

• “I’ll never let that happen again.”

  
  
  
  

• “I can’t trust anyone.”

  
  
  
  

• “I’m done stepping out. I’ll just sit in the back and keep my heart to myself.”

  
  
  
  

Not because the Holy Spirit said it—but because fear did.

Yet Scripture is clear:

“For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.”

(Romans 8:14)

Being a child of God is not just about believing the right things. It is about being led by the right Person.

This is the shift God invites us into: from being ruled by insecurity, emotions, and other people’s voices—to being led, gently but firmly, by the Spirit of God.

1. When Your Wound Tries to Lead You

Wounds don’t just hurt. They interpret.

They become a lens you look through:

• They interpret people: “Everyone is dangerous. If I get too close, I’ll get hurt again.”

  
  
  
  

• They interpret God: “He let this happen, so He must not care as much as I thought.”

  
  
  
  

• They interpret the future: “It will always end the same way. Why bother trying?”

  
  
  
  

If betrayal, disappointment, or mental warfare aren’t healed, they start acting like a broken compass inside you.

You might notice patterns like:

• Overreacting to small comments because they sound like old pain.

  
  
  
  

• Pulling away from healthy people because someone unhealthy once stood in that spot in your life.

  
  
  
  

• Saying “no” to God’s invitations because they look like something that hurt you before.

  
  
  
  

Your wound whispers:

“Protect yourself first. Don’t risk. Don’t trust. Don’t hope.”

So we make “safe” decisions:

• We serve, but at a distance.

  
  
  
  

• We sit in church, but never really open up.

  
  
  
  

• We smile, but we never again give people access to our heart.

  
  
  
  

On the surface, it looks wise. On the inside, it is often fear wearing a religious mask.

Meanwhile, the Spirit whispers something completely different:

“Walk with Me. I see what you don’t. I am your shield. I am your Counselor.”

The Bible doesn’t deny emotions. It doesn’t pretend pain doesn’t exist. But it does insist that pain is not your shepherd.

“The Lord is my shepherd…” (Psalm 23:1)

Not my fear.

Not my betrayal.

Not my anxiety.

2. Three Voices That Try to Lead You

In seasons of woundedness, there are at least three “voices” that try to lead your life. Most of us have heard all three.

1) The Voice of the Flesh (Unhealed Reactions)

Scripture calls this “the flesh”—not just your physical body, but your fallen, self-protective nature.

“Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit…”

(Galatians 5:16–17)

The flesh says things like:

• “Get even.”

  
  
  
  

• “Shut down.”

  
  
  
  

• “Prove yourself.”

  
  
  
  

• “Control everything so you can’t be hurt again.”

  
  
  
  

The flesh is loud, reactive, quick, and often demands action right now.

It wants relief, not transformation.

2) The Voice of the Soul (Emotions + Memories)

Your soul—your mind, will, and emotions—is God-given. Jesus had emotions. You are not “unspiritual” because you feel.

But when the soul is wounded, it can become a shaky guide.

It says things like:

• “I feel unsafe, so I must actually be unsafe.”

  
  
  
  

• “I feel rejected, so I must be unwanted.”

  
  
  
  

• “I feel anxious, so that means something bad is going to happen.”

  
  
  
  

Emotions are real, but they are not always true. They describe your inner weather; they don’t set your spiritual coordinates.

3) The Voice of the Spirit

Then there is the Holy Spirit.

“When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth.”

(John 16:13)

“But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.”

(Galatians 5:18)

“If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.”

(Galatians 5:25)

The Spirit:

• never contradicts Scripture,

  
  
  
  

• always draws you toward Jesus,

  
  
  
  

• usually speaks with a steady, quiet conviction rather than a panicked shout,

  
  
  
  

• produces the fruit of peace even in painful circumstances (Galatians 5:22–23).

  
  
  
  

He does not erase your emotions. He leads you through them.

Imagine three people talking in a room: your wound, your emotions, and the Holy Spirit.

• Your wound talks about what happened.

  
  
  
  

• Your emotions talk about how it feels.

  
  
  
  

• The Holy Spirit talks about what is true and where to go from here.

  
  
  
  

All three will speak. But only One is safe to follow.

3. Two Kinds of Thoughts: God’s Thoughts and Wrong Thoughts

For a long time, I used to think there were three kinds of thoughts in my mind:

1. My thoughts

   
   
   
   

2. God’s thoughts

   
   
   
   

3. Wrong thoughts—from the flesh, from the enemy, from the world

   
   
   
   

It felt tidy: three categories, three buckets.

Then, in the middle of this journey with inner warfare and betrayal, I felt the Holy Spirit gently correct me. It was as if He whispered:

“There are not three categories. There are only two. My thoughts—and wrong thoughts. Whatever realm they may come from.”

That simple shift changed everything.

Because if there are only two kinds of thoughts:

• God’s thoughts

  
  
  
  

• Wrong thoughts

  
  
  
  

Then it doesn’t matter where the thought comes from:

• my own woundedness,

  
  
  
  

• my fears,

  
  
  
  

• my upbringing,

  
  
  
  

• the culture,

  
  
  
  

• the enemy,

  
  
  
  

• or someone else’s opinion.

  
  
  
  

If it doesn’t agree with God’s Word and God’s character, it goes in one category:

Wrong.

Not “partially helpful.”

Not “my personal truth.”

Just wrong.

That may sound harsh to modern ears, but biblically it is freeing.

God says:

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways My ways…

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are My ways higher than your ways

and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

(Isaiah 55:8–9)

Paul writes:

“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”

(2 Corinthians 10:5)

If every thought must be made to obey Christ, then there are only two categories:

• Thoughts that already agree with Him.

  
  
  
  

• Thoughts that need to bow to Him.

  
  
  
  

This means:

• A thought that says, “You are alone,” is wrong—because God says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).

  
  
  
  

• A thought that says, “You are beyond repair,” is wrong—because God says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).

  
  
  
  

• A thought that says, “You can never forgive,” is wrong—because God commands and empowers forgiveness (Ephesians 4:32).

  
  
  
  

It doesn’t matter how loudly the thought screams or how “reasonable” it feels in the moment. If it contradicts God, it is wrong.

This is not about shaming yourself. It is about learning to discern your inner world.

We begin to ask:

• “Is this God’s thought—or is it a wrong thought?”

  
  
  
  

• “Does this sound like the Shepherd—or like a stranger?” (see John 10:4–5)

  
  
  
  

And then we respond the way Jesus did in the wilderness:

“It is written…” (Matthew 4:4, 7, 10)

Philippians 4:8 gives us a beautiful filter:

“Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable… think about these things.”

(Philippians 4:8)

Anything that cannot pass through that filter is not to be entertained—it is to be captured and brought to Christ.

4. A Simple Picture: The Steering Wheel of Your Life

Think of your life like a car.

Your emotions are indicators on the dashboard. They tell you something is happening:

• fear = “I sense danger.”

  
  
  
  

• sadness = “I’ve lost something important.”

  
  
  
  

• anger = “Something feels unjust.”

  
  
  
  

Those signals are important. You don’t rip out the dashboard because you don’t like the lights.

Your wound is like damage to the car. It can make things misaligned, shaky, sensitive.

But the Holy Spirit is meant to hold the steering wheel.

When your wound and your emotions grab the wheel, they will always aim at either:

• escape (“Run away.”)

  
  
  
  

• control (“Tighten your grip.”)

  
  
  
  

• or shutdown (“Just park the car and stay here forever.”)

  
  
  
  

The Spirit, on the other hand, leads in a different direction:

• obedience

  
  
  
  

• healing

  
  
  
  

• forgiveness

  
  
  
  

• wise boundaries

  
  
  
  

• deeper trust in God

  
  
  
  

You will feel all three in your journey. The question is not, “Will I feel them?” The question is, “Who gets the steering wheel?”

5. Letting the Holy Spirit Lead a Wounded Heart (Practically)

So how do you actually walk this out?

Here is a simple pattern you can begin to practice as a wounded, but willing, believer.

1) Pause

Don’t make major decisions from the height of emotion or immediately after a fresh wound.

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

(Psalm 46:10)

Even a brief pause—an hour, a day, a week—can create space for the Spirit to speak above the noise.

2) Present

Bring everything honestly before God:

“Lord, this is what I feel. This is what I’m thinking. This is what I want to do. This is what I fear. This is what I don’t understand.”

You are not informing Him. You are inviting Him.

“Cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.”

(1 Peter 5:7)

3) Listen in the Word

Open Scripture not as a box to tick, but as a line of communication.

Ask:

“Holy Spirit, show me Your thoughts in Your Word for this situation.”

You might be drawn to passages about:

• forgiveness,

  
  
  
  

• wisdom,

  
  
  
  

• boundaries,

  
  
  
  

• patience,

  
  
  
  

• holiness,

  
  
  
  

• love.

  
  
  
  

The Spirit and the Word always agree.

4) Test the Thought

Now test what you’re thinking and feeling:

• Does this thought line up with the heart of Scripture?

  
  
  
  

• Does it look like the mind of Christ—or the mind of fear?

  
  
  
  

• Does it produce the fruit of the Spirit—or the fruit of the flesh?

  
  
  
  

“God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

(2 Timothy 1:7)

If a thought is fueled mainly by fear, revenge, pride, or despair, you already know which category it belongs in.

5) Take the Thought Captive

When you recognize a wrong thought, don’t just admit it’s wrong—take it captive.

You might pray something like:

“Lord, I bring this thought to You: ‘I’m alone and unseen.’

Your Word says You are with me always.

I reject this lie and choose to agree with Your truth instead.”

You are not pretending you don’t feel it. You are refusing to let it lead you.

6) Submit and Obey

The leading of the Holy Spirit is not just something we admire; it is something we obey.

Sometimes His direction will match your desire. Often it will stretch it. Occasionally, it will contradict what feels “safest” and call you into trust.

“Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it.’”

(Isaiah 30:21)

Each small act of obedience strengthens your ability to recognize His voice.

7) Confirm (For Bigger Decisions)

For larger choices—moving, major relationship changes, leaving a church, stepping into or out of a role—invite one or two mature believers who are not tangled in the situation to pray with you.

You’re not asking them to control your decision. You’re inviting:

• confirmation,

  
  
  
  

• correction if needed,

  
  
  
  

• and intercession.

  
  
  
  

The same Spirit who lives in you also lives in them.

6. For Leaders and Influencers

Even though this word is for all believers, many who read it will inevitably carry influence: parents, mentors, small group leaders, worshipers, intercessors, pastors, elders, team leaders.

When you are wounded and in a position of influence, the danger is even greater:

If your wound leads you, it will end up leading others too.

That’s why it is vital for anyone with spiritual influence to:

• Acknowledge when they are not okay.

  
  
  
  

• Refuse to make major decisions for others from a place of fresh hurt.

  
  
  
  

• Surround themselves with people who can tell them the truth in love.

  
  
  
  

• Allow the Holy Spirit to confront their own wrong thoughts before they try to correct others.

  
  
  
  

The Church—local and global—desperately needs believers who are led by the Spirit, not by their scars.

Reflection & Prayer

Questions to sit with:

1. Where do I see that I’ve been led more by fear, hurt, or opinion than by the Holy Spirit?

   
   
   
   

2. What are the loudest thoughts that run through my mind in moments of pressure or pain? How do they compare with Scripture?

   
   
   
   

3. How does it change things for me to see only two categories of thoughts—God’s and wrong?

   
   
   
   

4. Is there one specific area where I sense the Holy Spirit inviting me to let Him lead instead of my wound?

   
   
   
   

Prayer:

Holy Spirit, I confess that many times I have let my wounds, fears, and other people’s opinions lead me.

I have treated my thoughts as final instead of testing them against Your Word.

Today I choose to surrender my mind, my emotions, and my decisions to Your leadership.

Show me which thoughts are Yours and which are not.

Teach me to take wrong thoughts captive and bring them to the feet of Jesus.

Lead me not by the echo of betrayal or insecurity, but by the truth of Your Word and the peace of Christ.

Train me to recognize Your voice above every other voice.

In Jesus’ name, amen. Much love!