Betrayal —— The wound that shapes…

Betrayal — The Wound That Shapes…

I never expected betrayal to become one of the most defining themes of my ministry.

I expected sermons. I expected prayer meetings. I expected spiritual warfare.

I expected joy and sorrow, victories and valleys.

But betrayal?

No one prepares you for that.

No one sits you down in Bible college and says:

“Get ready. One day, the ones you love the most may be the ones who wound you the deepest.”

If someone had told me that in the early days of ministry, I might not have believed them. I would have said, “No… not the people I pray for… not the people I pour into… not the ones I stand with in the fire…” But time has a way of teaching what classrooms never can.

I have pastored in Canada, across denominations, communities, big cities and small towns. And now in my apostolic role in Bulgaria, walking among ministers  whose history, struggles, and cultural expressions are so different from what I knew.

Yet betrayal —the kind that wounds the heart and shakes the soul —

looks identical in every place I’ve been.

The tears sound the same.

The silence feels the same.

The shock unfolds the same.

The spiritual confusion, the psychological pain, the emotional collapse — identical.

And somewhere along this journey, the Lord whispered to me:

“Betrayal is the wound Satan reserves for those he fears the most.”

Because betrayal is not designed to break your ministry.

It is designed to break you.

And when you understand this, everything changes.

1. BETRAYAL ALWAYS COMES FROM THE ONES YOU LET CLOSE

I remember the first time betrayal hit me.

It wasn’t the blow of an enemy —

it was the whisper of a friend.

A person I prayed for.

A person I encouraged.

A person I believed in.

A person I defended.

A person I trusted.

And in one moment, everything changed. I sat in the quiet of that season asking God, “What did I miss? How did this happen? Is this normal? Did I fail?”

But as the years went by —

as I pastored in Canada and then ministering alongside pastors in Bulgaria — I realized something I wish someone had told me sooner: Betrayal never comes from the outside. It comes from the inside.

It comes from those you feed. Those you lead. Those you trust. Those you welcome. Those you open your heart to. Those you give access to your life.

Strangers cannot betray you. Enemies cannot betray you. Critics cannot betray you.

Only people who have been close…

only people who have been loved…

only people who have been trusted…carry the ability to place that knife in the soul.

And somehow, knowing that betrayal comes from intimacy makes it hurt even more.

Because the pain is shaped like the person who inflicted it.

In Canada, I watched it break pastors. In Bulgaria, I see the same tears, the same heaviness, the same spiritual exhaustion. Different nations. Different languages.

Same wound.

I finally understood: Betrayal is not cultural. Betrayal is human. And betrayal is spiritual.

Even Jesus wasn’t betrayed by a Pharisee. He was betrayed by Judas, one of the twelve… one of the ones who had access. If the Perfect Shepherd had a Judas,

why would any of us expect to escape it?

 2. THE PSYCHOLOGICAL IMPACT — WHAT BETRAYAL DOES INSIDE ME

I never understood the psychological trauma of betrayal until I lived it — until I sat awake at night with my mind racing, until I learned how a single event can fracture trust, distort perception, and leave lasting marks inside a pastor’s soul.

Betrayal doesn’t just hurt —it rewires the way your heart interprets relationships.

✔ Hypervigilance

I began to notice everything.

Too much.

Every tone of voice.

Every shift in expression.

Every pause in conversation.

Every inconsistency.

My mind wasn’t being paranoid —it was being protective. Too protective.

Betrayal makes you see danger where there is none, because the danger you never expected once came wearing a friendly face.

✔ Emotional withdrawal

I didn’t withdraw from ministry —

I withdrew from people.

Still present.

Still ministering.

Still preaching.

But something inside of me stepped back.

I became cautious with my heart. Selective with vulnerability. Reserved with new relationships. Betrayal teaches you to smile publicly while grieving privately.

✔ Identity confusion

This one hit me the hardest.

After betrayal, your mind asks questions you can’t answer:

“Was I blind?”

“Am I poor at judging character?”

“Is something wrong with me?”

“Should I stop getting close to people?”

“Will this happen again?”

These questions are not signs of weakness —

they are signs of trauma.

Trauma isn’t loud —it is quiet,slow,persistent.

Trauma teaches the heart to expect disappointment.

To brace for abandonment.

To anticipate attack.

To protect itself even when protection isn’t needed.

And God had to speak into this:

“The failure is not in your love.

The failure is in their loyalty.”

3. THE SPIRITUAL IMPACT — THE INVISIBLE FRACTURE

Psychological trauma is devastating —but spiritual trauma dives even deeper.

Because betrayal in ministry doesn’t just wound the emotions —it wounds the calling, it wounds identity, it wounds the spirit.

There were moments when I said:

“Lord, why did You allow this?”

“How did this happen under Your watch?”

“Did I hear You wrong about these people?”

“Was I walking in disobedience?”

These are not questions of unbelief — these are the questions of the wounded.

✔ Betrayal shakes your discernment

You start to doubt what God showed you. You start to question your prophetic instincts. You start to lose confidence in your hearing.

This is spiritual trauma — not spiritual failure.

✔ Betrayal creates spiritual fatigue

This is not physical tiredness. Not mental exhaustion. This is the heaviness of the soul.

The kind that makes prayer feel heavy.

The kind that makes worship feel distant.

The kind that makes preaching feel costly.

The kind that leaves you wondering if joy will ever feel natural again.

✔ Betrayal targets your anointing

Not to remove it — but to make you afraid to walk in it.

The enemy knows: A wounded preacher still preaches. A wounded pastor still pastors. But a wounded leader begins to shrink inwardly.

And that inner shrinking is what Satan wants.

Because a pastor who loves less, trusts less, and hopes less is easier to defeat.

4. MY JOURNEY — CANADA & BULGARIA: SAME WOUND, SAME SPIRIT

Some wounds feel different in different cultures. Betrayal is not one of them.

In Canada, I sat with pastors who felt abandoned by their own leadership teams.

I watched ministries crumble under the weight of gossip, division, and offense.

I saw pastors walk away from decades of faithful service because betrayal crushed their inner world.

Then I came to Bulgaria.

Different continent.

Different language.

Different church history.

Different pressures.

But the spirit of betrayal?

The trauma it creates?

The way it shreds trust?

The way it leaves ministers shaking?

Identical.

Absolutely identical.

I saw Bulgarian pastors with the same tired eyes I’d seen in Canada.

The same emotional exhaustion.

The same guardedness.

The same “I love people but I can’t take another wound” tone in their voice.

One Bulgarian pastor told me,

“I can face demons. I cannot face betrayal again.”

And I thought, My brother, I have felt that too.

It doesn’t matter where I am — betrayal always leaves the same bruise.

Because it’s not cultural. It’s spiritual. It’s human. It’s ancient. It’s demonic. It’s strategic.

And it is one of the few wounds that can reshape a minister’s entire calling if not healed.

5. THE BIBLICAL REVELATION — EVERY GREAT SERVANT WAS BETRAYED

The more I studied Scripture, the more the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to one startling truth: Every major biblical leader was betrayed.

Not by enemies. Not by unbelievers. Not by the ungodly. By the people closest to them.

✔ Joseph — betrayed by brothers

✔ Moses — betrayed by his own people

✔ David — betrayed by Saul, Absalom, Ahithophel

✔ Jeremiah — betrayed by priests and prophets

✔ Paul — betrayed by co-laborers

✔ Jesus — betrayed by Judas and abandoned by the twelve

It was as if the Lord whispered:

“Betrayal is not the proof that you are weak.

Betrayal is the proof that you are chosen.”

No one in Scripture reached their destiny without walking through betrayal first. Not a single one.

And I realized: Betrayal is often the last furnace before promotion.

Not because God delights in our pain —but because He refuses to let us carry old trust structures into new assignments.

6. THE ENEMY’S STRATEGY — WHAT SATAN IS TRYING TO ACHIEVE

In the darkest nights, when betrayal replayed in my mind like a broken record,

the Holy Spirit began to show me the strategy behind it. Satan uses betrayal to poison the heart of the minister.

Why?

Because a wounded preacher is still dangerous — but a preacher who stops loving is not. A pastor who withdraws emotionally may still preach, may still serve,

may still work, but the heart of Christ begins to dim under the scars.

And the enemy knows: If he can break your ability to trust, he can break your ability to shepherd. If he can break your ability to love deeply, he can break your ability to lead effectively. If he can break your confidence in your discernment, he can break your voice.

Betrayal is not simply an attack. It is an assassination attempt — aimed at the heart of the minister, not the ministry.

7. WHERE HEALING BEGINS

Healing from betrayal is not fast. It is not dramatic. It is not a single prayer. It is not a moment at the altar.

It is a journey.

A long one.

And it begins in a simple, painful, holy place:

Honesty.

Honesty with God.

Honesty with yourself.

Honesty with your own heart.

I had to learn to say things like:

“I’m hurt.”

“I’m disappointed.”

“I didn’t see this coming.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I feel broken.”

“I feel confused.”

“I feel tired.”

“I need God to touch what people cannot heal.”

That honesty didn’t make me weak — it made me human. And healing only comes to the human parts of us we stop pretending about.

In Bulgaria, I sat with a pastor who said,

“I cannot show weakness.”

I looked him in the eyes and said, “Brother… weakness is where healing begins.”

And for the first time in years, he let tears fall. Not because he failed —

but because he was finally free to be a person, not a portrayal.

WHEN THE WOUND BECOMES A TEACHER

There comes a moment in every betrayed minister’s life where the wound stops screaming…and starts teaching.

It doesn’t teach immediately.

It doesn’t teach gently.

It doesn’t teach without cost.

But eventually, betrayal becomes a prophet in your own soul — revealing truths about people, about the enemy, about the last days, about ministry, and about the human heart that you never would’ve learned any other way.

I have shared how betrayal shaped me — emotionally, psychologically, spiritually — across both Canada and now Bulgaria.

But in this section, I want to lay out what the Holy Spirit revealed to me after the initial wound…what betrayal does, why it happens, how it advances the Kingdom,

and how God turns the pain into prophetic clarity.

This is the section where the wound becomes wisdom.

1. BETRAYAL IN THE LAST DAYS — JESUS SAID IT WOULD INCREASE

I remember reading Matthew 24:10 years ago without understanding its weight:

“And many will turn away from Me

and will betray and hate one another.”

I read that as prophecy.

I never expected to read it as experience.

But betrayal didn’t begin with me.

It didn’t begin with you.

It didn’t begin with your church or your community.

It is a sign of the times —

a mark of the last days —

a direct fulfillment of Scripture.

In both Canada and Bulgaria, I have seen the very same spiritual climate that Jesus spoke of:

✔ Growing offense

✔ Quiet resentments

✔ Unspoken disappointment

✔ People leaving relationships without explanation

✔ Leaders blindsided by sudden fractures

✔ Christians turning on Christians

✔ Friendly faces shifting overnight

✔ Hearts cooling, love fading

✔ And betrayal rising like a tide

The Holy Spirit showed me clearly:

Betrayal is not random.

It is prophetic.

It is the enemy’s attempt to weaken the Body of Christ from within

as we move closer to the return of the Lord.

And Jesus — in His mercy — warned us.

**2. “IN THE NIGHT HE WAS BETRAYED…”

THE CROSS WAS SET IN MOTION BY TREACHERY**

There is a mystery in Scripture that I never saw until betrayal came into my own life.

Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 11:23:

“On the night He was betrayed…”

Think about that.

Jesus didn’t receive communion after a sermon.

Not after a miracle.

Not after a moment of celebration.

He received communion in the night betrayal was crushing His heart.

Why?

Because the betrayal did not stop His purpose — it triggered it.

The betrayal pushed Christ into Gethsemane.

Gethsemane pushed Him into Calvary.

Calvary opened the tomb.

The open tomb opened eternity.

The Lord spoke to me one night when I was grieving betrayal in Canada:

“If betrayal pushed My Son into His assignment, why do you think it can stop yours?”

Betrayal hurts.

Betrayal breaks.

Betrayal shakes.

But betrayal cannot stop a calling.

In many cases, betrayal advances it.

In fact…

 Sometimes betrayal is what God uses to move you into the next chapter.

3. THE CRAVING FOR CONNECTION — WHY BETRAYAL CUTS SO DEEPLY

I once heard the story of a board director whose entire life was shaped by one simple longing:

the desire to be seen…to be valued…to belong.

This longing — a good longing —is what makes betrayal so devastating.

We open our hearts because God designed us for relationship.

We trust because we crave connection.

We hope because we want community.

We lean on others because Scripture commands it.

But that vulnerability — the very thing God asked us to embrace — becomes the entry point for betrayal.

The Spirit revealed this to me:

Betrayal hurts so deeply because it violates the place where love once lived.

It is not simply disloyalty. It is not simple conflict. It is not disagreement.

Betrayal is the violation of trust in the very place trust was meant to thrive.

And ministers feel this more intensely because:

✔ we love deeply

✔ we hope fiercely

✔ we pour endlessly

✔ we invest without hesitation

✔ we trust because it’s Christlike

✔ we believe people can grow and change

Ministry makes you vulnerable because ministry is built on relationship.

And betrayal is painful because betrayal destroys the very thing ministry is built upon.

4. BETRAYAL’S PURPOSE — IT IS ALWAYS AIMED, NEVER ACCIDENTAL

One of the most shocking truths in my journey came from Matthew 26:14–16:

“Then Judas… went to the chief priests

and said, ‘What will you give me?’

And they covenanted with him…

And from that time he sought opportunity to betray Him.”

He sought opportunity.

He looked for the moment.

He planned.

He positioned himself.

He waited.

He calculated.

It wasn’t impulsive.

It wasn’t emotional.

It wasn’t accidental.

It was intentional.

The Holy Ghost told me:

“Betrayal is always purposed.

It is always targeted.

It is always demonic in origin.”

Not everyone who betrays you is demon-possessed… but betrayal is always demon-influenced.

Satan uses it because betrayal:

✔ breaks trust

✔ scatters relationships

✔ isolates leaders

✔ confuses the mind

✔ weakens the heart

✔ creates bitterness

✔ spreads suspicion

✔ damages confidence

✔ causes spiritual fatigue

✔ and tears the fabric of the Church

Betrayal is the ultimate relational weapon designed to destroy from the inside

what cannot be conquered from the outside.

5. FALSE WITNESSES — THE VOICES BEHIND YOUR BACK

The phrases in Psalm 35 hit differently when you’ve been through betrayal.

“False witnesses rose up…”

“They laid to my charge things I did not know…”

“They rewarded me evil for good…”

There are few wounds more traumatizing than hearing things about yourself

that are not true but believed as if they were.

False witness is the breath of betrayal.

It twists motives.

It distorts reality.

It rewrites history.

It paints you as the villain

to justify the other person’s departure.

I lived this in Canada.

I’ve watched it in Bulgaria.

I’ve seen pastors in both nations break under the pressure of whispered lies

from people they once trusted.

The betrayal never ends quietly. It always tries to recruit. It always tries to convince. It always tries to frame the betrayed as the problem.

And Scripture names these people…

6. THE “ABJECTS” — THE TOXIC GROUP THAT FORMS DURING BETRAYAL

Psalm 35 calls them abjects —

a word that means:

• morally degraded

• spiritually twisted

• lacking integrity

• slanderous

• malicious

• destructive

• a group that gathers with evil intent

The Hebrew word nekeh means:

“a smiter, a traducer, one who wounds through slander.”

And here’s what the Spirit taught me from this passage:

⭐ **Betrayal rarely happens alone.

It gathers people. It attracts the wounded, the offended, the unstable, and the opportunistic.**

Like magnets drawn to metal, they cluster together to form a chorus of false confirmation.

And suddenly you find yourself:

• accused of things you never did

• blamed for things you are not responsible for

• judged in ways that make no sense

• misunderstood without explanation

• surrounded by silence from those who once stood with you

The saddest true even when you are innocent the sting of the “accuser of the brethren” remains. A point they never mention in Bible School.

This happens in Canada.

This happens in Bulgaria.

This happens everywhere.

Because this is how the spirit of betrayal operates.

7. THE “PLAGUE” ACCUSATION — WHY PEOPLE BLAME THE ONE WHO STAYS

Psalm 41:7–9 speaks about something every pastor has seen:

“An evil disease cleaves to him…”

“His friends whisper together against him…”

“They imagine the worst for him…”

This is the gut punch of betrayal:

The betrayed often get blamed as if THEY are the problem.

You see it in marriages:

the wife was faithful — the husband left —

but people whisper that maybe she “drove him away.”

You see it in business:

a partner betrays —

but people question the character of the one who stayed behind.

You see it in churches:

someone leaves badly —

but rumors are spread about the pastor

who remained faithful.

The mother and son story in your sermon captures this perfectly:

“Mama, if you’re not bad…

why did Daddy leave?”

That is the psychology of betrayal.

People always try to make sense of loss

by blaming the one who stayed.

It’s easier to invent a reason

than to admit someone they trusted

was capable of disloyalty.

The Lord told me:

“Never feel guilty for being betrayed

when you did nothing wrong.”

And that revelation healed something deep inside me.

8. BETRAYAL REVEALS CHARACTER — THEIRS, NOT YOURS

One of the deepest lies betrayal whispers is:

“You must have caused this.”

But the Scripture is clear:

the betrayer reveals themselves through their actions.

Not you.

David said in Psalm 55:

“It was you…

my companion…

my familiar friend…

we walked in the house of God together…”

This is the voice of every wounded pastor I’ve ever known.

In Canada…

in Bulgaria…

in every place I’ve ministered…

the same cry emerges:

“I treated them like family.

How could they do this?”

But betrayal doesn’t expose the weakness of the betrayed.

It exposes the instability of the betrayer.

And God uses betrayal to show you who is truly meant to stand with you

in the next season.

Some people cannot go where you are going. And betrayal becomes the exit door

that removes them before the next chapter begins.

9. BETRAYAL AND THE KINGDOM — ADVANCING THROUGH THE WOUND

This is the revelation that changed my life:

Betrayal, if surrendered to God, always advances the Kingdom.

Not immediately.

Not painlessly.

Not predictably.

But inevitably.

Why?

Because betrayal:

✔ removes hidden enemies

✔ exposes false loyalty

✔ purifies motives

✔ sharpens discernment

✔ increases spiritual authority

✔ transforms compassion

✔ deepens humility

✔ births new revelation

✔ pushes you into prayer

✔ expands your heart

✔ matures your calling

✔ and brings you closer to the sufferings of Christ

Jesus didn’t run from betrayal — He walked through it, knowing it was the final doorway to destiny.

And He invites us to walk that same road — not as victims, but as overcomers.

The Spirit told me:

“Betrayal doesn’t disqualify a minister — it graduates him.”

Within me I have a core belief that all fostering the Kingdom I the best way they know too will experience what I have described here. My counsel to you whether those in ministry or not is simply to go forward and like Paul”s advice: “ forgetting what lays behind I press on to the high call in Christ Jesus.” So press on my friend in Christ.